


Miracle League Group Chat

by FiveOh_Roster



Series: FiveOh Crack [1]
Category: FiveOh Extended Universe, Marvel, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Chatlogs, Crack, Crack Fic, Cringe, Drunk Texting, F/F, F/M, Gen, Group Chat Fic, I Blame Youtube, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Kinda, M/M, Memes, Multi, Other, Pokemon Adventures Manga mention, Romance, Texting, The Weeb Squad, Too many characters, attention seeking, because no one else will see this or care, chat fic, chatfic, i was NOT sleep deprived when i wrote this, i will go down with all the ships, id blame tumblr but i dont use it, if there is it is swiftly interrpted, ive been making this instead of school, probably not much fluff, puns, shoutout to kaelynn on hogwarts is here for Kaelynn Evergreen| Damselfly, texting & messages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-30 02:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveOh_Roster/pseuds/FiveOh_Roster
Summary: Absolutely batshit crazy chat log consisting of the the whole 52 members of the Miracle League, and then some. Jam-Packed with references, stupidity, humor, and most of all, laughs.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pssebe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pssebe/gifts).
  * Inspired by [chat with me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986653) by [pssebe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pssebe/pseuds/pssebe). 



 

[ **FlukeOff** added **megOWOdon** \+ 46 others to the chat]

megOWOdon: shit i didnt think ud do it

[ **megOWOdon** left the chat]

[ **FlukeOff** added **megOWOdon** to the chat]

megOWOdon: shit

FlukeOff: no 1s leaving this

[ **megOWOdon** named the chat **Hell™** ]

FlukeOff: damn str8

gottagofast: what the fresh hell have u created now

[ **FlukeOff** renamed the chat **Fresh Hell™** ]

gay: what fucking bullshit have you pulled out of your ass this time

lanabanana: cease w ur fuckery!

FlukeOff: never!!!

LoveInterest: omfg ilysm rn #neverchange

FlukeOff: love u 2 boo

gay: ugh get a room

gojira: hiss nu

gojira: not w her

LoveInterest: relax Hun I love both of u

gojira: hmph

LoveInterest: ur so cute bae

gojira: O///O

<33333: *incoherent squealing*

gottagofast: *pukes*


	2. photoshop

SunnyD: if were gonna do this I need 2 no who every1 is

SunnyD: this is Diana Équinoxe btw

FlukeOff: Hope Winter

megOWOdon: Taylor Jackson

gottagofast: Savannah Bolt

gay: Michael Machette

lanabanana: Lana Medusé

LoveInterest: Bella Rouge

gojira: Tokachi Tsurugi

<33333: Amaura Vanité

ART: Mazeru Tsurugi

gojira: u told me u didnt have this app

ART: …

ART: whoops

gojira: get in here u little bitch

ART: NOPE

gojira: WHERE R U

ART: NOT TELLING

ART: guys i need backup shes hunting me down

gojira: tell me where u r & ill make this painless

ART: HELP I HEAR HER COMING

gojira: aha!

gojira: ...wait

gojira: ur bluffing arent u

ART: maybe maybe not

gojira: MAZERU I STG

* * *

gojira: WTF

gojira: HOW TF DID U GETUP TERE

ART: ;P not telling

megOWOdon: what happened

gojira: HES SITTING ON THE CEILING FAN

gottagofast: omfg lmfao

gojira: SAID FAN IS ON HIGH

gay: wtf how

gojira: IDK HE WONT FUKING SAY

ART: NO

ART: GET AWAY

ART: MAYDAY MAYDAY SHES CLIMBING UP

ART: HELP MhFdRYcDGfYhGGuUgHgVgYhHfj

* * *

gay: oof rip mazeru 2004-2019

gottagofast: press f to pay respects

gottagofast: f

megOWOdon: f

gay: f

<33333: f

FlukeOff: f

LoveInterest: f

lanabanana: f

SunnyD: f

* * *

gojira: jkyugdsd jhvcvhgdgscuagcwsgudcvwysdygcerft

gojira: U LITTLE FUCKING SHIT

gojira: HE JUNPED ON MY HEA & RAN OUT TGE DOOR

gay: oof lol

gojira: GET TF BAK HER U LITERAL FU KING CUNT

ART: SHIT SOMEON HELP SHES CHASING ME DOWN TE STRET

ART: WHAT IS THAT IN UR HAND

ART: HOLY FUCJING SHIT SHE HAS A KNIFW

[ **ART** sent a picture]

SunnyD: hold on brt

gay: owo wat does that mean

gottagofast: wtf

megOWOdon: you fucking sadist

LoveInterest: my Triple 7 is mad nuuuuu

<33333: iS tHe shIP lEAkInG?!

FlukeOff: Mazeru is Mazerscrewed

lanabanana: hope y

FlukeOff: have u lost all hope 4 me yet

lanabanana: *cringe* Ye

FlukeOff: lel

megOWOdon: begone thot

* * *

ART: OMFG ITS PHÉNIX 

gay: what?

gottagofast: pic or it didn't happen

<33333: omg hes not lying they just flew past my window

[ **< 33333** sent a picture]

lanabanana: owo?!

FlukeOff: diana u seeing this?

FlukeOff: diana?

FlukeOff: hello?

* * *

LoveInterest: guys they just landed on my neighbors roof

gojira: aHA!

LoveInterest: HHJSHKHEDCHIEDYGEDJHCGWEUYDFCUWTFDDIUDEHSGVS

LoveInterest: OMFGHOLYFUCKINGGODDAMFUKINGSHIT WHAT THE FLIPPITY FUCK

LoveInterest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

gottagofast: WHAT, BELLA?!

LoveInterest: THEYRE MAKING OUT

gay: say what now

<33333: *incessant incoherent squealing*

FlukeOff: WTF

lanabanana: PIC NOW

[ **LoveInterest** sent a picture]

megOWOdon: holy shit

gojira: what

gay: oh shit evrybody get tf down

gojira: the

gottagofast: take cover shes gonna blow!!!

gojira: FUCK?!?!

gojira: MAZERU YOU BASTARD

gojira: EXPLAIN THIS MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT NOW

[ **ART** has left the chat]

gojira: oh HELL no

[ **gojira** has added **ART** to the chat]

gojira: ur not getting outta this 1 u actual piece of bread

gojira: explain

ART: …

ART: um

[ **ART** has changed their nickname to **actual piece of bread** ]

actual piece of bread: photoshop

actual piece of bread: fuck it

actual piece of bread: yes im dating Phénix  

[ **actual piece of bread** is offline]

gojira: U CNT JST SY SONETING LIEK TAT & LEAV!!!!!

kangaroorat: actually he can

gojira: SHUT IT NAT

* * *

gojira: bro?

gojira: GDI MAZERU Y R U UP THERE AGAIN 


	3. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the name. We just read Romeo and Juliet in my language arts class and I felt obligated to include a reference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about damn time I posted this. This chapter has been finished for weeks, I was just too lazy to post it. Beware: It's long.

gay: yo @SunnyD where u @ u lit shit

  
[ **SunnyD** has changed their nickname to **LitShit™** ]

  
gay: lmfao yes! XDDD  
LitShit™:lol  
LitShit™: anyways my buddy chum pal My Kale im watching Miraculous  
LitShit™: **************Michael  
gay: 1) <3 that show  
<33333: me 2  
gay: 2)

  
[ **gay** has changed their nickname to **dianas kale** ]

  
LitShit™: I AM DECEASED™  
<33333: omfg lmfao  
dianas kale: back on the topic of Miraculous  
dianas kale: Bridgette w Felix tho!  
LitShit™: IKR?!?!  
<33333: lel  
LitShit™: anyways  
LitShit™: @everyone can we get back 2 intros  
eatme: yeh  
LitShit™: who dis  
eatme: Caroline Petrelli  
fearthereaper: Emmaline Dísintegér  
emolesbian: of course thats ur nickname  
Emolesbian: u edgy bitch  
fearthereaper: indeed  
fearthereaper:& who wood dis b?  
emolesbian: Laura Byers  
mudpuppy: Gwendolyn Matrix  
howmanyshrimps: Lavender Pym  
X23: & her gf Laura Kinney  
howmanyshrimps: stfu Laura u havent earned that title yet  
LoveInterest: DAMN  
LoveInterest: SAVAGE  
X23: Lav is… different when shes on her phone  
voicecrack: how so  
X23: who dis  
voicecrack: this b Hoe Lind  
voicecrack: *************ZOE I MENT ZOE NOT HOE  
emolesbian: OMFG U HAVE MURDERED ME ROFLMFAO IFLYSGDFMRN  
X23: omg lol

  
[ **voicecrack** has changed their nickname to **HoeLind** ]

  
calamari: jfc y do I associate with u ppl  
bandito: bcus of me  
HoeLind: ho r u  
bandito: Jack Red  
calamari: Ben Calmar  
lanabanana: Squidboy!  
calamari: shit ur here  
lanabanana: mwehehe  
kangaroorat: The Gay™ has arrived  
kangaroorat: tis i Natalie Iris formally known as The Gay™  
cougar: & her gf Eunice Pumala  
X23: how come U can do that & i cant?!  
howmanyshrimps: silence peasant  
X23: this “peasant” is going 2 rip u a new 1 2morrow  
howmanyshrimps: kinky  
fearthereaper: i didnt know u were in2 rp Laura  
X23: …  
X23: i hate u all & u should all collectively go burn in hell  
eatme: i mean  
eatme: she aint wrong  
cougar: ^  
bandito: ^  
bandito: dammit she beat me 2 it  
kitkat: lel  
kitkat: Ellen Jumelles is watching  
pinkfairy: Ceiling Ellen is watching you   
kitkat: GDI CALEB STFU OMFG  
gottagofast: caleb as in..?  
pinkfairy: Caleb Outback  
kitkat: butch betta watch urself or else imma fuck u up reel good  
pinkfairy: butch lol

  
[ **pinkfairy** has changed their nickname to **butchfairy** ]

  
kitkat: …  
kitkat i cannot believe  
kitkat: my crush just murdered me  
butchfairy: wat  
kitkat: HDHBSHAIDHBDBYSYKAKSNDBC  
kitkat: IMEAN  
kitkat: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Lay-Z Boi: calm down every1 already knows this  
butchfairy: i didnt  
Lay-Z Boi: thats bcuz ur an idiot bro  
butchfairy: no u  
dianas kale: xcus me hoe dis  
Lay-Z Boi: Edmund Outback  
actual piece of bread: isnt he like 12  
megOWOdon:ye  
FlukeOff: so  
gojira: im good with it  
emolesbian: he hangs with The Squad™ often enough  
emolesbian: & \+ my sis is here 2  
pupper: hi its Luna guys!!!  
emolesbian: speak of the devil  
spikeyboi: Penny Satan is bcome arrived  
spikeyboi: speaking of devils  
Ammittens: Speaking of Pokémon!  
spikeyboi: Speaking of Pokémon…

  
[ **Ammittens** has changed their nickname to **Pearl** ]  
[ **spikeyboi** has changed their nickname to **Diamond** ]

  
emolesbian: oh god not u 2 and your pokemon adventures manga weeb shit again  
Pearl: Every journey comes with its fair share of roadblocks, and that flock of Psyduck was no exception!  
Howmanyshrimps: no  
Diamond: You can say that again! Did you notice they all seemed to have headaches…?  
Pearl: Huh? Really?  
Diamond: Sure. Pokémon can get all kinds of aches. Let's see…  
Diamond: They can get a headache, tummy ache, backache, Raticate…  
Pearl: Idiot! That last one is a Pokémon!  
Pearl: When their heads hurt too much, Psyduck unleash their psychic powers.  
Diamond: Really? Psychic powers?  
X23: y  
Diamond: Ooh, let me try! Nnngh! Come on, Poké Ball- float!  
Pearl: Dia! What the heck are you doing?  
Diamond: You whack me in the head so much, I thought I might have developed psychic powers too!  
Pearl: THAT’S JUST PART OF THE ACT! Don't make me look bad!  
dianas kale: MISS ME W THAT FU KING WEEB SHIT  
fearthereaper: stop quoting ur Pokémon manga fan fics u weebs smh  
empresspalpitoad: RYAN KANE  
Pearl: oh no  
empresspalpitoad: HOW DARE YOU START QUOTING POKÉMON ADVENTURES  
empresspalpitoad: W/OUT ME

[ **empresspalpitoad** changed their nickname to **Lady** ]

  
Pearl: MILADY YES JOIN US IN OUR WEEB ROLEPLAYING  
Lady: I SHALL  
Pearl: Speaking of Pokémon!  
Diamond: Speaking of Pokémon...

  
[ **dianas kale** removed **Diamond** from the chat]  
[ **Diamond** added **Diamond** to the chat because she aint no punk-ass bitch]

  
Diamond: S p e a k i n g   o f   P o k é m o n . . .  
dianas kale: wtf how  
Lady: Speaking of Pokémon?  
Pearl: Speaking of Pokémon.  
Diamond: Speaking of Pokémon!  
Lady: Speaking of Pokémon!  
LitShitTM: @everyone can we just get back 2 intros?  
Diamond: Fine  
Pearl: Ryan Kane  
Lady: Kaelynn Evergreen  
sidthesloth: i sympathize in ur weeb plight  
sid the sloth: John Paresse btw

[ **sidthesloth** has changed their nickname to **Blue** ]

  
honeybadgerdontcare: as does the gr8 Jamie Logan but i love my name 2 much im so sos o so so sorry

  
[ **FlukeOff** has changed their nickname to **Gold** ]  
[ **LoveInterest** has changed their nickname to **Crystal** ]  
[ **pupper** has changed their nickname to **Yellow** ]

  
emolesbian: my own sister  
emolesbian: Betrayed™  
roachcock: enough pitiful mortals  
roachcock: tis i Roan Capone

  
[ **roachcock** has changed their nickname to **Red** ]

  
bandito: shouldn't i be Red  
roachcock: stfu

  
[ **gojira** has changed their nickname to **Silver** ]  
[ **actual piece of bread** has changed their nickname to **Green** ]  
[ **megOWOdon** has changed their nickname to **Lance** ]

  
Grammar Nazi: I am Dwight Wallace, and this is getting ridiculous. Why are you all like this?  
honeybadgerdontcare: *the Weeb Squad™ dabs simultaneously in the most dank way imaginable*  
lemmings: SWIFTLY MOVING ON  
lemmings: Charlotte Snow  
this.is.SPARTA: but  
lemmings: NO BRANDON  
this.is.SPARTA: fine  
this.is.SPARTA: Brandon Fornax  
skykitty: Jasmen Volant  
^kitty^(^◕ﻌ◕^): her gf Thanalia Noire <333 love u babe  
skykitty: <3333333333  
QUEEN: may i just note how fucking adorable u 2 r 2gether  
QUEEN: anyway  
QUEEN: Tony Bullet  
isuck: Trevor White  
Queen Voltage: wow ur nickname is accurate  
isuck: fuck off  
isuck: who r u anyway  
Queen Voltage: Zinnia Fulmen.  
Queen Voltage: y tf am i even here?  
Queen Voltage: like, its not like id ever b friends w u meager street rats  
Queen Voltage: bsides Gwen Cleo Rain & maybe a couple others  
Gold: 2 annoy u  
beachballer: y me  
Queen Voltage: Rain?  
beachballer: ye & @msmuscles is Cleo  
msmuscles: hi  
mudpuppy: so.  
mudpuppy: y us  
Queen Voltage: u guys r kinda cool I guess  
QUEEN: uh huh sure  
Queen Voltage: what's that supposed to mean  
QUEEN: nothing  
Queen Voltage: what r u hiding Tony  
QUEEN: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Queen Voltage: TONY  
QUEEN: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Queen Voltage: …  
Queen Voltage: (⌐■_■)▄︻┻┳═一  
QUEEN: (x_x)  
emolesbian: so anyways  
Gold: i am a cat lover and i love to run  
Crystal: im sorry im thinking about cats again  
Silver: i really love cats  
emolesbian: *AHEM*  
Green: when the squad synchronizes  
totallynotlightningbug: Paris Bright  
Meghanlovania: Meghan Hummer  
bandito: do u wanna have a bad time  
Meghanlovania: *Megalovania intensifies* My sis is here 2 btw. Katie Hummer. Her tag is ADHD  
Voltron: Newton Vega  
SHOOPDAWHOOP: Kenneth Pike  
lanabanana: jfc ken y  
lanabanana: just…  
lanabanana: y  
SHOOPDAWHOOP: BECAUSE THIS:  
..………………...……….„~"¯¯¯”~„  
.…………...…………..„”. (_). . . . .\  
.…………………...…..|. . . . . . . . .|  
.………………„-~^”¯”-„. . . . . . .„”  
.……………„-”::::::::::::”~-----~^„……………........._¸„„„_  
.………….„”:::::::„^””””””~„:::::::::”„………..........…„“. . . . .”-„  
.………..„”:::::::„”. . . . . . .”~„:::::::”~„…...........….|. . . . . (_).\  
.………„”:::::::„”. . . „--~~--„_.”-„:::::::::::::¯”~-„„\\. . . . . . . „”  
.……../::::::::/. .¯„-“;;;;;;;;;;;;;;”^-„”~„:::::::::::;;;;;;;”~„„„„„„-~”  
.……/::::::::/. “„-”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;¯"-„”~---„„„„_:::::::”„  
.…../:::::::/.„-“;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;”-„. . . .”):::::::'|  
…./:::::::/”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”. . . „”:::::::„”  
.../:::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„-“¯._'. „”::::::„”  
.ƒ:::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;(“. . . „”:::::::„”  
'|:::::::ƒ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;¯**"„”::::::„”  
|:::::::|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”:::::::„”  
|:::::::|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”:::::::„”  
|:::::::|„;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”:::::::„”  
|:::::::|.\\__;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”::::::„”  
|:::::::|¯”\:;¯”^-„;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'„”:::::':„”  
'|:::::::|-„.\:;:;:;:”-„;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;ƒ:::::::„”  
.|:::::::|. . \:;:;:;:;:”„;¸„¸;;;;;;;;;„~~|::::::„”  
.'|:::::::\\. . \:;:;:;:;:;:\;|:;”-„;;;;;\\. . |:::::'{  
..“„:::::::”~„”-„:;:;:;:;:”:;:;:;:”„;;'|. .’|::::::\  
.…”~„:::::::¯”~„~--„:;:;:;:;:;|;;ƒ. .'|:::::::|  
.'……..”~„::::::::¯”^~-„~-„_|;;/_. ƒ::::::'|  
…………..”~-„_::::::::¯¯””~'¯-~”::::::'ƒ  
.…………….…¯”~-„_:::::::::::::::::„-”  
………………………..¯””^~~~~^”  
lemmings: OMFG Y KEN Y R U LIKE THIS  
Voltron: THAT IS ENOUGH KENNY  
Gold: jfc  
Gold: its beautiful  
grahamcracker: no comment  
grahamcracker: Graham Straus  
fetusdeletus: Jennifer Quadren  
denimboi: Tyler Nylon  
Gold: Donkey!  
Red: JOHN CENA!!!!!!  
honeybadgerdontcare: marmite  
Queen Voltage: yep, now youre fired  
X23: O.O  
Blue: …  
Diamond: nuNI?!  
emolesbian: *faints*  
Gold: ermahgerd  
Queen Voltage: what  
cougar: I IS PROUD MUMMY  
HoeLind: LAURA OUR BABY IS GROWING UP INTO THE MEME-LOVING CHILD WE ALWAYS WANTED  
howmanyshrimps: LAURA OUR BABY IS GROWING UP INTO THE MEME-LOVING CHILD WE ALWAYS WANTED  
^kitty^(^◕ﻌ◕^): NO SHES OURS  
kangaroorat: no shes ours  
Silver: SHUT IT NAT  
Crystal: YE  
Gold: SHE BELONGS 2 US  
<33333: nay  
<33333: mine  
Skykitty: UR SINGLE  
<33333: SO  
Queen Voltage: Y IS EVRY1 TRYING 2 ADOPT ME A LESBIAN  
kitkat: bcuz its u  
Queen Voltage: but im str8  
mudpuppy: yk no1 believes that tbh  
kangaroorat: i do  
Silver: SHUT IT NAT  
kangaroorat: r00d

  
[ **kangaroorat** has changed their nickname to **r00d** ]

  
Silver: XD lmfao

[ **Silver** has changed their nickname to **SHUTITNAT** ]

  
r00d: i just came out here 2 have fun & im honestly feeling so attacked rite now  
SHUTITNAT: SHUT IT NAT  
r00d: $@v49€  
^kitty^(^◕ﻌ◕^): stop bitckering  
skykitty: ur liek an old married couple  
Gold: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…  
Crystal: got sumting 2 tell me Kachi?  
SHUTITNAT: i is Le Confuse™  
cougar: @r00d r u cheating on me  
r00d: i feel Exposed™  
SHUTITNAT: Busted®  
cougar: #TRIGGERED  
Crystal: THETRUTHISOUTTHERE©  
Gold: Top Ten Anime Betrayals  
Queen Voltage: r we just ignoring the fact that evry1 seems to think im gay  
beachballer: but u r tho  
Queen Voltage: nah bro  
beachballer: u tots r my freshest of homies  
Queen Voltage: evidence  
QUEEN: u swoon whenever you see Gwen Cleo or Rain  
mudpuppy: wat  
Queen Voltage: no I dont!!!  
beachballer: i mean Cleo ya but the other 2 r rong  
Lady: u faint evry time Cleo flexes and have gotten multiple nosebleeds in the the locker room when she walks out of the shower  
isuck: Cleo just fell over  
QUEEN: search your feelings you know it is true

* * *

 

[ **Queen Voltage** is typing…]

* * *

  
Queen Voltage: FUCK  
Queen Voltage: IM GAY  
kitkat: no shit sherlock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and give me feedback! Tell me if I contradict myself, like if I change a name but then forget and keep writing the old name! Thanks for reading! Chapter 4 is in progress.

**Author's Note:**

> Or, a bunch of OC's in a group chat.


End file.
